Test Result - F

As part of my big whoopin physical I had recently they did some blood work. I was shocked, shocked I tell you to learn that in addition to high blood pressure I also have high cholesterol. Being the fine specimen of health that I am, this doesn't make sense. Triglycerides are 256, which would be a great bowling score but appartently aren't great for the arteries. Im not convinced of this because I saw the blood when it was being drawn and it looked really red and healthy. You have to be careful with junk science and not let it get you down. The beautiful thing about the physical was I was able to pull a good blood pressure reading just once that passed for the DOT physical so I could quit using the one I gave myself, hee hee. So the young Dr. called me in for some counseling about diet and exercise. So, I am going to loose 49 pounds or so and quit smoking dope and cut back to 2 alchoholic drinks per meal and see what happens. Im warning you though - I loose weight and get in shape and I will be too damn sexy for my shirt.