So the scenario was bleak already, I took a job and needed a drug screen and physical. More on the job later but the trip to the doc was a rough start. First off they send me to one of the drive through health care shops for the drug screen, I decide to kill two birds and get my DOT physical at the same time and have them pay for it too. There were only a few people in the waiting area but I still waited for over half an hour. Finally I got to wizz in a cup and went through the whole process of verifying the sample and taping it shut and initialing everything in sight. This is the world of drug testing and I've done it many times so no big deal. Get it all done and the RN who was a little scatter brained realizes I didn't sign something that was already sealed up. So out it all comes and do it over. Then she realizes she didn't do some test that had to be done before it goes to the lab. So more urine was needed, I stepped up to the plate and delivered for the home team. All this probably contributed to me failing the blood pressure test. They tried 4 different times but it was 138 over 96, out the range for a DOT physical. They gave me a temporary card good for a year. I don't really believe in the junk science of blood pressure and cholesterol levels so I'm good.
The suspense of course was all about the hernia check, most docs in my experience don't do it or check on your lower stomach. Not Dr. Squeezer, made me drop 'em and then handled both of the boys. I'm still pretty upset about it. The entire visit was full of bad news, hassle and humiliation. Now I get to go to work. Yippee.
Monday, February 26, 2007
An Inconvenient Asshat
What's the difference between a real environmentalist and a poseur?
Conserve energy - you that is.
What a blowhard.
Conserve energy - you that is.
What a blowhard.
Birthdays Blow
Another one come and gone. What is the sense of even keeping track? Birthdays are for kids, after 21 no one really gives a frog's fat ass. But for all you out there -
Have one on me, cheers 
Sunday, February 25, 2007
El Presidente
The 2008 presidential elections are a long way off, but the campaign is already in full swing. I don't know what it is about our national candidates maybe we know too much about them, but holy crap is this the best we can do? Hillary Clinton, Rudi Guiliani, front runners, that is sad. I cannot even grasp the thought of a Hillary presidency but Guilani is too weird for me too. I just watched some old video clip of him in drag in some stunt with Trump hitting on him. Please, can we have some dignity in the Oval Office. McCain, don't like him -can't put my finger on it but it just isn't there, and he would be 72 when he takes office, and 76 at the end of his first term. No discrimination but that is too old for this high pressure, intense job. Barak Obama? light weight. Audacity of Hope? how about the reality of the world.
My pick at this early stage is Romney. He has some tangible success in business and in politics. A leader with the demeanor and communication abilities to take the office. Conservative but not one dimensionable. After watching George Bush muddle through his second term unable to communicate with and inspire his country it would be nice to see someone who can.
But can he win? Probably not, and for what. Religion. Just read an interesting article about polygamy in the Romney family tree, yikes. They aren't quitters they kept at it after the Mormon church banned it. His father was born in Mexico where his father and family were hiding from the feds. And his great great grandfather is Parley P. Pratt hisself.
Well all I can say is if the Evangelical Christians would rather back someone like Guiliani over Romney then they are so worried about theology that they are unable to think clearly. Moral high ground taken. All in all I just can't stop the horrible thought of Hillary taking the most powerful position in the world. The four horseman just might be saddling up.
My pick at this early stage is Romney. He has some tangible success in business and in politics. A leader with the demeanor and communication abilities to take the office. Conservative but not one dimensionable. After watching George Bush muddle through his second term unable to communicate with and inspire his country it would be nice to see someone who can.
But can he win? Probably not, and for what. Religion. Just read an interesting article about polygamy in the Romney family tree, yikes. They aren't quitters they kept at it after the Mormon church banned it. His father was born in Mexico where his father and family were hiding from the feds. And his great great grandfather is Parley P. Pratt hisself.
Well all I can say is if the Evangelical Christians would rather back someone like Guiliani over Romney then they are so worried about theology that they are unable to think clearly. Moral high ground taken. All in all I just can't stop the horrible thought of Hillary taking the most powerful position in the world. The four horseman just might be saddling up.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Did You Know?
Click Here To See
SHIFT HAPPENS
Turn up your speakers - the song is awesome, from Last of the Mohicans
The info is scary and depressing.
SHIFT HAPPENS
Turn up your speakers - the song is awesome, from Last of the Mohicans
The info is scary and depressing.
A Ray of Hope
The sun came out the other day. It was shocking, I thought for a minute the house next door was on fire or something. But no, when I walked outside the glorious rays were beating down on everything in site. I could hardly see, I didn't know where my sunglasses were because I haven't used them since October 2006. Oh how good it felt though, and the rays delivered a warming sensation - I had forgot about that. I broke into song.
'Oh the sunshine blessed sunshine, where the peaceful happy moments roll'
Yes it was quite a time.
Oh course it is long gone. Today is cold, drizzly, gray and I know that the sun will probably never come out again. But I was glad I was there for that special day and partook of the life giving rays the day that the sun came out.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Pharmacies Cause Pill Popping
Stopped at a pharmacy today to pick up a prescription for Lisa. Went to the drive-up which is nice and the order was pre-filled so it was only a 10 minute ordeal, a rare event indeed. From the drive-up window I could see the customers inside their faces grim, their eyes glazed over in the blank stare of the tormented. Some faces were fixed with a forced smile trying to hide the impulse to kill something, one had a very visible twitch that gave away the stress building up inside. I understood very well what was going on in there. Pharmacies are a cruel joke and another example of inept and insane business practice.
The concept is so simple it begs a quick painless transaction. You hand said white smocked person a little note that says your physician says to give you medicine. If you are in extreme pain this will be for 5 pain killers weaker than asprin. This should take all of about 2 minutes. Count 'em out ring 'em up. No, they look at you and say something like 'it's going to be 45 minutes'. What? Why? No, No No. There are five of you milling around back there and just me standing here - take care of it now. But instead it goes onto some weird ass waiting list and if you are actually sick at the time and waiting for it this does not seem right. But then it is part of our medical system so don't expect anybody to give a shit.
My advice, buy your drugs online from India, fill out a simple questionnaire that is reviewed by Dr. Hapu or his assistant helper monkey and in 10 days or less it will show up in your mailbox. Can't be worse. (don't ask me how I know this)
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Who Said It
Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so.
Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was too strong.
I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.
The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under
The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is agovernment program.
I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middleof a Cabinet meeting.
It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops Moving, subsidize it
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards,if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
Ronald Reagan
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so.
Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was too strong.
I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress.
The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.
If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under
The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is agovernment program.
I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middleof a Cabinet meeting.
It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops Moving, subsidize it
Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards,if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.
Ronald Reagan
Friday, February 09, 2007
The Dog Whisperer
Rock chucking and the art of dog training as I know it. We have had Tasha's dog Etnie now for over a year. Etnie is a Australian Shepard mix and is a class 'A' little shit. She likes to run off, bark at people and generally make you want to get out a rifle and take careful aim. She hates the kennel we have with a passion and would not go in it unless you bribed her with food. Last winter I took her cross country skiing and when I got back to the truck she wouldn't come to me and some lady that was there had to catch her for me. Oh, I was mad that day.
This is all came to a head last July on the banks of the Clearwater River in Idaho. Me and Bryant were camped in a nice spot on the river next to a wooden bridge across the river for hikers and livestock. It went to a trail system that included a fire lookout 10 miles in. Because of the trail and bridge people would occasionally stop and walk out on the bridge. Every time they did Etnie would tear over there and bark at them. She was being her crappy little self and wouldn't come when you called and otherwise just look at you and take off. We stayed there three nights and every morning I was awakened by some jackass at 5:00 a.m. who jogged up the dirt road right next to our camp. It went like this - crunch, crunch, crunch, bark, growl, bark, screaming. Never saw the guy but he was a real pussy and scared to death of dogs. He always left off with a withering scream in the distance of 'control your dog!' I ignored this because as I have pointed out she ain't my dog.
So one fine day at the noon hour as I was eating lunch after a excellent morning of fishing for Clearwater cutthroats a car pulls up at the bridge and a family gets out. I was already trying to get hold of Etnie but she slipped away and started her usual bullshit. The family was unloading day packs and getting ready for a hike, one of the boys ran out on the bridge to have a look because it was a cool place. Etnie was behind him barking and wouldn't give it up. I walked over yelling at her but she didn't listen and was really started getting aggressive and growling and lunging at the kid and cutting off his escape route. He looked to be about 10 or 11 and was trying to be brave about it but she did look like she might bite. By this time I had all of her crap I could handle. I ran across the bridge toward her, she took one look at me and hauled ass to the other side. The poor kid took off back to his car and I continued on after the mutt. I got to the end of the bridge and called and whistled to her, she kept about 50 yards between us and wouldn't come back. So naturally I snapped. I picked up some rocks and took off, she realized the gravity of the situation and ran up the trail. I was throwing rocks and yelling, the rocks were pretty good size, about like a baseball, it was a long throw and I wasn't coming too close in accuracy. We carried on like this for about a quarter of a mile when we came to a switchback and I could see her running and had a view of the trail in front of her. I let loose with a rock and could clearly see the trajectory and hang time as she streaked up the trail. Dog and rock collided in a picture perfect moment I will never forget. She yelped long and hard and then realizing I wasn't freaking kidding she turned around with her tail down and walked straight back to me without hesitation. I was still mad but do not ever touch a dog that comes back to you. She walked right by my side all the way back, we passed the family and they didn't say much. Once we got close to camp she took off and hid under my truck. She is smart and laid low for awhile.
Ever since that day she has been really good for me, she will come when I call and will kennel up on command. She doesn't give me any trouble and if she starts all I have to do is bend down like I am picking up a rock and she toes the line in an instant. I probably should sell my new method of dog training and charge extra for a nice rock. I will call it 'Rock Your Dog's World' Not endorsed by the Humane Society but it works. As for Etnie she is a real character and despite myself I can't help but like the little shit.
This is all came to a head last July on the banks of the Clearwater River in Idaho. Me and Bryant were camped in a nice spot on the river next to a wooden bridge across the river for hikers and livestock. It went to a trail system that included a fire lookout 10 miles in. Because of the trail and bridge people would occasionally stop and walk out on the bridge. Every time they did Etnie would tear over there and bark at them. She was being her crappy little self and wouldn't come when you called and otherwise just look at you and take off. We stayed there three nights and every morning I was awakened by some jackass at 5:00 a.m. who jogged up the dirt road right next to our camp. It went like this - crunch, crunch, crunch, bark, growl, bark, screaming. Never saw the guy but he was a real pussy and scared to death of dogs. He always left off with a withering scream in the distance of 'control your dog!' I ignored this because as I have pointed out she ain't my dog.
So one fine day at the noon hour as I was eating lunch after a excellent morning of fishing for Clearwater cutthroats a car pulls up at the bridge and a family gets out. I was already trying to get hold of Etnie but she slipped away and started her usual bullshit. The family was unloading day packs and getting ready for a hike, one of the boys ran out on the bridge to have a look because it was a cool place. Etnie was behind him barking and wouldn't give it up. I walked over yelling at her but she didn't listen and was really started getting aggressive and growling and lunging at the kid and cutting off his escape route. He looked to be about 10 or 11 and was trying to be brave about it but she did look like she might bite. By this time I had all of her crap I could handle. I ran across the bridge toward her, she took one look at me and hauled ass to the other side. The poor kid took off back to his car and I continued on after the mutt. I got to the end of the bridge and called and whistled to her, she kept about 50 yards between us and wouldn't come back. So naturally I snapped. I picked up some rocks and took off, she realized the gravity of the situation and ran up the trail. I was throwing rocks and yelling, the rocks were pretty good size, about like a baseball, it was a long throw and I wasn't coming too close in accuracy. We carried on like this for about a quarter of a mile when we came to a switchback and I could see her running and had a view of the trail in front of her. I let loose with a rock and could clearly see the trajectory and hang time as she streaked up the trail. Dog and rock collided in a picture perfect moment I will never forget. She yelped long and hard and then realizing I wasn't freaking kidding she turned around with her tail down and walked straight back to me without hesitation. I was still mad but do not ever touch a dog that comes back to you. She walked right by my side all the way back, we passed the family and they didn't say much. Once we got close to camp she took off and hid under my truck. She is smart and laid low for awhile.
Ever since that day she has been really good for me, she will come when I call and will kennel up on command. She doesn't give me any trouble and if she starts all I have to do is bend down like I am picking up a rock and she toes the line in an instant. I probably should sell my new method of dog training and charge extra for a nice rock. I will call it 'Rock Your Dog's World' Not endorsed by the Humane Society but it works. As for Etnie she is a real character and despite myself I can't help but like the little shit.
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