Physically Fits

So the scenario was bleak already, I took a job and needed a drug screen and physical. More on the job later but the trip to the doc was a rough start. First off they send me to one of the drive through health care shops for the drug screen, I decide to kill two birds and get my DOT physical at the same time and have them pay for it too. There were only a few people in the waiting area but I still waited for over half an hour. Finally I got to wizz in a cup and went through the whole process of verifying the sample and taping it shut and initialing everything in sight. This is the world of drug testing and I've done it many times so no big deal. Get it all done and the RN who was a little scatter brained realizes I didn't sign something that was already sealed up. So out it all comes and do it over. Then she realizes she didn't do some test that had to be done before it goes to the lab. So more urine was needed, I stepped up to the plate and delivered for the home team. All this probably contributed to me failing the blood pressure test. They tried 4 different times but it was 138 over 96, out the range for a DOT physical. They gave me a temporary card good for a year. I don't really believe in the junk science of blood pressure and cholesterol levels so I'm good.
The suspense of course was all about the hernia check, most docs in my experience don't do it or check on your lower stomach. Not Dr. Squeezer, made me drop 'em and then handled both of the boys. I'm still pretty upset about it. The entire visit was full of bad news, hassle and humiliation. Now I get to go to work. Yippee.