Heatstroker

Just returned from a week in the sun burnt wasteland just south of the seventh circle of hell, the locals call it "St. George". I am not exagerating when I say it was a bit warm. Sure it is over 100 degrees everyday and with the monsoon moisture in the air it is humid too, but to compensate the people who live there set their air conditioners at a frosty 83 degrees, perfect for sweating and steaming. A dip in a warm swimming pool is the highlight of the day and leaves you a bit lethargic but wet at least, the evaportive cooling effect last for several seconds until your dry and start to shrivel. I lived there for 18 years but don't know how I did it, I guess I didn't know any better. Yea, yea I know the winters are mild and it was probably really green this spring before the fires burnt everything up but come on. Danish ancestry prevails, we aren't made for this crap. So after the 1000 mile drive north into the panhandle of Idaho it was 93 degrees when we got here. Shit. But at least it cooled down when the sun set and this weekend it is supposed to rain and top out at 78 degrees. I might live.

Going Swimming

Boo and Farley the damn dog heading down the road to Hayden Lake.

DMV Blues

I had a lovely and delightful visit to the local DMV office to update my drivers license. How in this world of high technology and streamlined processing capability can this f****** place still exist? If you tried to in your wildest demented dreams to come up with a system that is slower, less logical and more likely to induce maniacal rage you could not top this place. I have done more than my share of time in these offices lately, I worked in California last winter and was required by my employer to obtain a CA license. I did this in Suasanville CA at a small office that wasn't too bad considering I had to take five tests to get my commercial drivers license with tanker, air brake and hazmat endorsements. I didn't drive truck but as the manager I had to hold all these licesnses so I killed the better part of day getting it done. The office wasn't too crowded and their was a nice picture of Arnold the Terminator hanging on the wall. But soon after that I left CA and the job and needed to get back my Idaho license, so one otherwise fine summer morning I dropped in at the Coeur d'Alene offiice to see what I needed to do. Well the first thing you do is look at a bunch of sorry assed people who all turn in unison and glare at you when you walk in the door, bad sign. Next step is to take a number, a really bad sign. My number was 002, after five minutes they called number 81, I quickly was able to figure that the numbers started back over at 100 and I was a long freaking way from being called. And there were 2 guys working the desk, 2 I said 2 that's right 2. Six computers there but 2 dudes. They could have used 10 people easy. These guys had to be on Valium, how else could they even pretend to cope. They were the picture of calm and tranquility while a horde of people stared at them with undisguised hatred. After an hour and 15 minutes my number was finally called. I went to the counter and told them my needs he says ok sit down and well will call you. OK what could I do, so I went to sit back down but of course someone has taken my seat, starting to get a little riled but I take it and find another seat. 10 minutes and they call my name I go up and they say I need to take a test to get the license - fine, I haven't studied the book but I take the test and sit down. I am pretty impatient and blow through the test without really reading it. It says you can miss six, so I feel confident and stick the test in a basket on the counter where it gets ignored for about another 10 minutes, finally a guy grabs and grades and call my name, I walk up and he says you passed (yippee) but you missed three do you want to look at them- no. You don't want to see the ones you missed? No. He doesn't like it but something in my eye prompts him to let it go. He says sit down and I will call you, another 10 or 15 and they call me to sign my name and get a picture taken. Sit down they say, another few minutes. I can see the machine that is processing the license and my card plops out, but one guy is on the phone and the other is talking to some people and so I have to sit there like an impotent jerk until another 10 minutes go by, finally one of them hands me the prized piece of plastic. I dont say a word for fear of my head exploding or the bare handed pummeling that I would not have been able to supress. I take the license and walk out with the envied looks of the doomed crowd still waiting, I would have felt a little smug but I had been emotionally buggered and had nothing left. Alone at last in my truck I cried a little and hugged myself and told myself that it was over and I was going to be OK. Next I went looking for a bar so I could chug-a-lug a liter of tequila but it was still 11:00 am and nothing was open so I went home. A couple days later I was feeling better.

Route Of The Hiawatha

Yesterday me and the Boo decided to see what all the fuss is about and went and biked the Hiawatha trail in Montana. It is an old railroad that winds through the Bitteroot Mountains and has numerous tunnels and trestles. We drove about an hour to the Montana border and stopped at Lookout Ski Resort where we got info on the trail and shuttle. We then drove to the trailhead and started our 15 mile ride. Right off the bat we headed into the Taft Tunnel which is 1.1 mile long. We had our headlamps but it was still hard to see exactly where the hell you where. It was very cool inside (you could see your breath) and wet with water dripping everwhere and running down each side. It was a blast, we pedaled way too fast and were lucky not to run into the rock walls, after a few exhilerating minutes we broke back out into the sunshine. This bike trail is one of the many old railroads that have been converted into bike trails in the Northwest, it was built around the first of the 19th century with a lot a hard work and money, it winds through some fantastic country and has 7 tunnels and 8 large trestles in the fifteen mile stretch that we rode. We had a great time but finished too fast and caught the shuttle back to the trailhead. We both agreed that next time we will skip the shuttle and bike back ourselves (uphill this time) The trail get its name from the train that use to run this route, The Oympic Hiawatha. See more pictures at the photo gallery on the Larsen Web Site www.cool-larsens.com

Family Guy

This is the picture I will use when I run for Bishop next year.

No pants - No problem

I had to put on pants today. Really cramped my style. The thing is, when it is summer and you don't have a traditional "job" per se, you don't need to dress up much. So it is getting a bit warm in the daytime, nights are still cool and comfortable but shorts are the perfect attire. In fact I think I have been wearing nothing but shorts for about 3 weeks. Alas, today I had to go play "realtor". Lisa has some big deal going with some developers on 1100 acres here. She told them I worked with her and so they wanted to have a meeting with me. (Woa, slow down there girl) Well anyway I put on some pants and went and played along, acted like I knew what I was talking about and I think they bought it. These people have money and are going to develop a large project, we might get lucky and get this deal done, I don't know. If we do I might get some new pants - leather ones baby.

Boo and Farley at Hayden Lake

There's Your Sweet Spot

Near our home in Hayden there is a parcel of National Forest property that has some nice trails in it. It is thick forest with lots of undergrowth and it is green and pretty. We take Farley the damn dog there just about everyday for a run. You can choose from a variety of trails from 5 miles to under 1 mile. They go through thick shady vegetation and have several dramatic overlooks of Hayden Lake. Few people go there and if we pull up and see other vehicles we are ticked off and put out, although chances are you will never see anyone on the actual trail. The trails themselves are nice and if you want a good workout you can jog or walk it fast, the dogs can run without a leash and covers ten times the mileage. Andy's dogs had a great time there and I'm sure they terrorized the wildlife which includes squirrels, chipmunks, whitetail deer, racoons, black bear and other animals.
After looking at a map I saw that the Forest Service property went right to the lake and was much larger that I first thought. The trails go nowhere near the water so I looked for a place to go down the hill, I followed a small steep deer trail for awhile but this is way too thick of stuff to bushwack for very long, but I stumbled onto an old overgrown road that headed in the direction I wanted to go. I followed it for about a half mile and then found a small trail right to the water. This was an empty stretch of shoreline for as far I could see in either direction (which is rare on the lakes in this area ) I had found the route to some private waterfront. Farley had a great time fetching sticks I threw in the lake and we stayed until the sun starting going down. The hike out is a bit of a leg burner but well worth it. I am glad that the trails stay well away from the lake now and I hope they leave it that way. But if past experience has taught me anything it is that nothing this good can last. I have been back twice already, Boo is going to like it and we can swim and fish. There are several ancient docks that have washed up there and you can go out on them and I can see a lot of small mouth bass and a few pike and trout. I kind of think I like it.

Rain Day

Its raining for the second day in a row. I like it. Besides being real good for the new lawn it is also nice and cool. High today of about 6o - perfect. The older I get the less I like the heat, I don't think I could live in St. George again too freakin hot there. Of course we are going there in August of all times, Sherry apparently wanted to give old uncle CJ a heat stroke.
So I am trying to decide wether to go fishing or not today. I took Farley the damn dog fishing with me for the first time a couple of days ago. After teaching him to stay behind me he wasn't too bad. After I caught the first fish he really got into it. He would stay right at my side and watch the fly drifting in the current. He was totally fascinated by it, and he would get excited when I landed a fish, he would give it a little sniff and it would flip him in the nose and I would let it go. It was nice to have him around actually, maybe he will make a good fishing dog after all.

Hmmm

Well the house is pretty quiet. Boo is in Utah, Andy and his crew are somewhere in Canada and its just me and Farley the damn dog. Lisa pops in once in awhile but she likes selling houses or something, I don't ask. I passed the real estate exam on the first try last week. Seriously if I hadn't I would have drove into an embankment, it didn't seem too tough. ( but I hear that most don't pass on the first time ) Of course when you study online you never quite know how you are going to do. My online final was 180 questions and I got 94% but when I went to Spokane to take the test, they don't tell you what you got, which surprised me. You either pass or fail, they dont want the actual score used as a condition of employment or something. It seems to me that telling which questions you got wrong might be helpful, what if it is something important like can a monkey sign a quit claim deed and if so will the estate be fee simple or will it be held as tenants in common with its owner. Fact is most agents are good at one thing: figuring out just what the hell 6% comes out to. So now I am waiting to see what brokerage I will work at. In the meantime the lawn is coming in nicely and it quit raining. Summer finaly showed up. Peace

Zen And The Art of Landscape Maintenance

I paid someone to landscape my yard. There I said it. I still can't quite believe it, a sure sign that I am getting old and lazy. It has been bothering me ever since they started, and today it is done and I have to admit it looks really good. Still, I feel like I should have done it myself (except for the huge boulders) I didn't like they way they planted the trees or spread the rock and especially the clowns who put in the sprinkler system. I used to install systems back in the day at Green Valley in St. George while I was attending Dixie College so I know quite a bit about it. Way more than these guys, I suggested a training course to them "Irrigation 101 - Your Ass and a Hole in The Ground - A Comparative Study." It was bad, the leader was a fat lazy dude that rarely showed up, his crew were two tweakers and a pear shaped jackass that they called "Nipples" They could not dig a trench deeper than three inches. He did not have a trencher, he relied on his top notch crew to pick forlornly at the ground for hours on end with no visible result, it was agonizing to watch. Luckily the rest of the work was being done by a different outfit that did half of their trenching just so they could get it done. It has been a long week because I am here most of the day trying to study (online) and the whole process was a pain in the ass. They hydroseeded today which gives it a nice green color and looks kind of like a lawn so you get the gist of it. It's nice. I should have done it myself.

Thats Right

Lisa has been complaining that I haven't updated the blog so I here is little bit of nothing for you. I have been sitting in front of the compooter a lot lately while I take an online real estate license course which is probably why I haven't felt like writing anything. The course is pretty good, It seems like I am learning the material but I guess I'll find out when I take the test. I plan to be finished at the end of May or thereabouts. After that I will launch my real estate career carefully, I think four hours a day - two days a week is a prudent workload for the first 4 months which will take me through the summmer. Don't want to burn out you know, moderation in all things they say, who said it I'm not sure but I think it was in sunday school and they were talking about girls or booze maybe. But I am terribly excited to have my own business cards with my picture on them. Advertising will be my forte, check this gem out.
"CJ your keeping it Real......tor" Its gold Jerry gold.
Thanks to everyone who responded to my request to find out if anyone was "reading this crap". I heard from all my brothers (except Andrew), Dad, Ty & Sloan and Aunt Jane. Nick reply was touching "its not all crap" Dad's too "digesting crap as served" Aunt Jane was more gracious. So I guess I will try and write more often. I posted some more pictures of Johnny Bowden on the Larsen website. He is seriously the cutest kid on earth.

Fotos

Check out the photo gallery on the Larsen Web Page. I posted some pics of fishing in Montana with Nick and some of Ty and his family when they were here. Also I was curious if anyone is actually reading this crap. If you are let me know cj3042@hotmail.com

Get Fit

I was a watching the tee vee and all that were on it was infomercials, religous programing and excerise videos. It gived me a good idear. Why dont somebody think of some way to combine these three excellent money makers. Well the day has come and I am that lucky, smart and talented sumbitch. I have in my own fertile and degenerated mind came up with an excellent popurri of the aformentioned items. That's right - religous excerise videos that make me money. I know - sheer genius. I am an idea man and when they come it is fast and furious, I bounced most of them off my wife. They were met with eye rolling, sighs, one small smile and a rebuke. Fine, some people don't know a brilliant scam when it is right in front of them. Here are a few examples, (these are rough, but you get the idea)

"Sweatin To The Old Testament" - Aerobics mingled with scripture reading, fat will melt possibly from sheer boredom.

"Pilates With Pontius Pilate" - Ok this is lame - Not sure where it is going but the title cracked me up. Sometimes you laugh alone.

"Jesursize' - This is the one that earned a rebuke, but I believe he has a sense of humor. And for the obedient out there when he tells you to step it up, you start hoppin.

"Nephi Bo" - Seriously have you seen the pictures of Nephi? the dude is cut. He could kick Billy Blanks and his queer little outfits halfway to the New World. Throw in a little 30lb swordplay, cut off a few heads and you got a workout that will leave you in a stupor of physical exaustion and humility. Credit for the name goes to Boo.

There were more (possibly the funny ones) but I can't remember them.

Nothin

Well I finally cut the strings and I am officially done with the propane gig. Feels pretty good. I quit, I respectfuly declined to move to California. This is the first time in my life (sinces I was 14 or 15) that I haven't had a job. I really have only had two jobs in 24 years. I might even get some unemployment benefits while I take the real estate course. Never had a day of unemployment pay either, it might just be time to get some. I feel pretty good about it, I was burned out on the propane game anyway. A guy was here yesterday fixing something and asked me what I do. The answer was kind of weird - nothin.

Wisdon of Earp

Family is all you got, everybody else is just strangers.

Wyatt Earp

Family Visit

Had the whole family here this week. Ty, Sloan, Boden and Tasha all flew up and spent the week. We had a great time although the weather this time of year is kind of cold and rainy. Johny Bo is an absolute blast to be around, funny and cute, gives out hugs and kisses and cracks everybody up. It was hard to see them leave but it was fun. Tasha is staying here and plans to enroll at North Idaho College this summer, she already found a place to stay with roomates and ditched her mom and dad the first week. I will send some pictures to dad to post on the website since I still can't get the picture gallery to work.

Lisa Update

Not sure if everyone knew what was going on but Lisa's biopsy of a skin lesion tested positive for melanoma. She went in today to have a larger area removed, she is home and pretty sore (it was on her stomach) but is doing fine. It was caught very early and did not appear to be deep. After they test it to make sure they got enough of it that might be the end of it, except regular screening. Melanoma is very bad and not curable once it spreads to the lymph nodes, get checked and stay out the sun. I watched them take it out, the area is about the size of silver dollar and over an inch deep - kinda gruesome. Anyway we hope this is the end of it, we are glad she went in for a screening.

A Flyfishing Limerick

Nicky has returned to the great Kansas Plains
He left Montana's rivers inside a big plane
But his fond early wishes of many great fishes
Were borne out through sun, wind and rain.

Dude Dies

Watched a few DVDs lately. First I saw I saw Cold Mountain (yea I know these are old news to most people) good flick, pretty intense, some nice nudity and then - dude dies. Bummer. A few days later I see Troy for the first time, awesome film - but, two dudes die (ok, thousands die, but I am talking Hector and Achilles. So for a change of pace we buy Ladder 49, pretty cool, lots of action, and then dude dies. I'm starting to sense a common theme here. People are apparently entertained by the dude dying, I have to object. Next one I am playing it safe, I think I will try a bible story maybe about Jesus or something, that should be nice.
Did you hear about the pope? Dudes dying.