Why I Sat Here

The scene is the Coeur d'Alene High School Gymnasium, the event - Boo's graduation. It is too small for the amount of people that want to attend so tickets are required and the sheep start lining up 2 hours beforehand. I stall Lisa for awhile but we still get there an hour and a half before kickoff. I drop her off and go park hoping to delay my own entrance by a half hour or so. But she calls me and is waiting at the door with my ticket, damn, a tactical error on my part.

We go in and her parents are there saving some seats that I immediately don't like. Second row of the bleachers, not an aisle seat for me. And worst of all right in front of us a four generation white trash family straight from the Jerry Springer Show. I'm sure they are decent people and I don't think I'm better than anyone else per se but I am not spending the next three hours in that spot.

I voice my objections to the skirt and she flips out, muttering threats and insults at my lack of enthusiasm. I try real hard to be a good boy but I can't. The patriarch of the hillbilly bunch is right in front of me, real close. The aromas that waft gently in the stale gym air are of Brylcream, Brut aftershave, stale cig smoke and Jack Daniels, all together are quite powerful as well as revolting,

I look for an escape, but quite frankly all the seats look like hell to me, but up in the balcony I spot some seats against the wall on the aisle with a hand rail in front. Protection and a degree of isolation call to me. I tell Tasha who is ready to bolt also, I feel I have nothing much more to fear from the skirt as she is already mad at me anyway, of course this will make her furious but I weigh the consequences against my own sanity and plot my escape. It came sooner than I thought as the aforementioned gentleman in front of me commenced farting before actual commencement started. I bolted for the cheap seats and never looked back. It was great up there and we enjoyed the proceedings from a lofty perch. Tasha was able to tell me when Boo walked in, as I couldn't see that far, but all in all a good thing. Of course I got the occasional text message from the missus with more veiled threats and instructions on going down to get a pic of Boo getting his sheepskin (which I did) And that's why I sat where I did.