Weaver Water

The bottled water craze has got thinking about how much things have changed. Watching Boo walking around here with a bottle of water in his hand, sipping out the side of his mouth (which I find infuriating) is much different than my own experience. While walking around here picking up half empty bottles and plastic caps that he enjoys throwing all over the place I can recall a simpler time when I drank from the damn garden hose.

Back in the day we had no bottled water at all, didn't exist. The only thing you were supposed to know about drinking the water was that you weren't supposed to drink from the outside taps that were irrigation water. 'Weaver Water' we called it, although I think it was actually Weber Irrigation Water. You find a hose to get a drink and some smart ass would scream "Weaver Water!' and you had to look elsewhere to slake your thirst. The Weaver faucets had these little removable handles that we briefly made a hobby of stealing until we had a box of hundreds of them and then me and Andy got caught snagging one by an old disgruntled man who had been a multiple victim. He slapped us both silly and we lost our zest for the sport. But I digress. The removable handles were made so that nobody mistook the water as potable and that kids wouldn't drink it.

After 40 years I will let you in on a dirty little secret I drank Weaver water all the damn time. You turned on the hose it looked great, cool and wet. What's the problem? Why go in the house? Fact of the matter is it never hurt me, in fact I think it made my guts stronger. I have never had Giardia or other water borne bugs bother me at all. I once took a hearty draught of Deep Creek water and then walked 50 feet upstream to view the putrified and gelatin like remains of a big fat sheep oozing into small globs that were drifting downstream. Other than some hyper gagging I was fine. From desert water holes to Mexico and back I can drink the water.

So while the next generation pussyfoots its way through a sterile world of Perrier and Aquafina I am ready for the Appocolypse when a dirty jug of Weaver Water is all you can get. I'll chug a lug that shit no problem.

For The Love of Spuds

I grew up with five brothers. Food was vitally important, we attacked the food supply with abandon. I was hungry for 17 years. I ate whenever I could and ate as much as I could as fast as I could. This has left me with a few lingering bad habits including eating too fast and eating until the food is gone. Leftovers were non-existent growing up. Never heard the word, didn't comprehend it.
When I first got married Lisa fixed me dinner and made a gigantic bowl of mashed potatoes that could have fed ten people. As was my custom I ate until it was gone. Never heard of anyone foundering themselves on potatoes until that day, and it wasn't pretty.
I remember Sunday dinners as a youngster. Pot roast, corn and mashed potatoes, mmm can still smell it. And every Sunday it was the same, mom would sit down and say the words I dreaded more than any other. "Take it easy on the potatoes" It was liked getting kicked in the junk. So the first brother to scoop spuds was watched intently by ten crazed eyeballs. If you took too much the words "pig, hog, sow" said in quick run together fashion was thrown about by everyone. After the meager portion of mashed spuds were gone it was time for Plan B which included taking a piece of bread breaking it up sacrament style and pouring gravy over it. This continued until the gravy gave out which was a sad moment indeed.
Ironically when I got older and found out how cheap potatoes were I was furious. I thought the damn things were precious, pricey, imported and hard to come by. I think my mom was limited in the cooking by too small of a cooking pot. She should have procured the biggest kettle on the market kept it boiling continuously and dumped the spuds in by the gunny sack and let us little buggers eat until we keeled over with protruding bellies and glazed over eyes.
As it is I still love potatoes especially mashed. I may still eat too much but haven't foundered myself in 20 years.

Birthaday Day

Well another b-day has came and went. Lisa told me she was giving me a couples massage. I thought that meant a couple of women would massage me but turns out she was getting a massage at the same time. Oh well, no chance of a happy finish but we had a good time. Bodie and Jett called me, it was a great phone call with Jett clearly telling me happy birthday and Bodie cracking me up with his funny stuff. I had just got back from 16 days in Nevada so I didn't want to eat out so Lisa made me a great dinner and Tasha came over and we had a fun night just hanging out at home.
Another year older, what the hell I can still move like a cat and look fantastic naked so I'm good.

Half-Assed My Way To 45